I’m yet to find the scripture that says woman must take the man’s name after marriage – Kemi Lala Akindoju
Kemi Lala Akindoju has sparked a debate with her opinion on marriage, childbirth and the dynamic of children
Popular Nigerian actress and filmmaker, Kemi Lala Akindoju has sparked a debate with her opinion on marriage, childbirth and the dynamic of children bearing their father’s surname.
She addressed the conventions of marriage, particularly the tradition of women adopting their husband’s surname, which she addressed in a recent public statement.
Akindoju expressed her concerns about the automatic assumption that children will inherit the father’s surname and state of origin, highlighting the profound impact of childbirth on women and questioning the fairness of their diminished role in naming rights.
She pointed out the inconsistency with scriptural references that suggest a man should cleave to his wife, challenging the cultural norms that prioritize male identity in marital unions.
“Scripture actually says the man cleaves to the woman (but what do I know). Most importantly a woman should be allowed to choose. Whether she wants to change her name or not or compound it,” Akindoju stated.
She also criticized the societal expectations placed on women to prepare for a change in identity upon marriage, while men are not typically raised to anticipate any alteration to their names or identities.
She wrote; “Honestly, if we really want to follow “2 shall become 1”, the couple should merge both surnames. I still question the children automatically coming from the man’s state of origin, his surname, and the fact that the man “owns” the child. The whole thing messes with my head so much, yet it’s the woman who physically goes through a life-transforming process to birth the children. Yet, she’s relegated. I may not have the answers, but it troubles my entire being and I am yet to find the scripture that says the woman must take the man’s name. Scripture actually says the man cleaves to the woman (but what do I know).
“Most importantly a woman should be allowed to choose. Whether she wants to change her name or not or compound it. It’s sha somehow that boys are never raised to think their identity will change, but just because of a woman’s gender she’s raised/socialized to know that she shouldn’t get too comfortable with a name and identity she’s known all her life. I don’t have the answers, but I strongly question this practice.”
